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Quotes: John McClane
This is a list of memorable quotes from John McClane. Die Hard *'Airplane passenger': You don't like flying, do you? *'John McClane': What gives you that idea? *'Airplane passenger': You wanna know the secret to surviving air travel? After you get where you're going, take off your shoes and your socks then walk around on the rug bare foot and make fists with your toes. *'John McClane': Fists with your toes? *'Airplane passenger': I know, I know, it sounds crazy. Trust me, I've been doing it for nine years. Yes sir, better than a shower and a hot cup of coffee. *'John McClane': Okay. *(the businessman sees John's gun) * John McClane: It's okay, I'm a cop. Trust me, I've been doing this for eleven years. *'John McClane': Come out to the coast! We'll get together, have a few laughs. *(McClane closes his lighter) *'John McClane': Now I know what a TV dinner feel likes. *'Marco': Next time when you get a chance to kill someone, don't hesitate. *(McClane shoots Marco through the table) *'John McClane': Thanks for the advice. * John McClane Who's driving his car, Stevie Wonder? *'John McClane': Welcome to the party, pal! * Dwayne T. Robinson: This is Deputy Chief of Police, Dwayne T. Robinson, and I am in charge of this situation. * John McClane: '''Oh, you're in charge? Well, I got some bad news for you, *Dwayne*, from up here, it doesn't look like you're in charge of jack shit. * '''Dwayne T. Robinson: You listen to me, you little asshole, I'm... * John McClane: 'Asshole? I'm not the one who just got butt-fucked on national TV, *Dwayne*. Now, you listen to me, jerk-off, if you're not a part of the solution, you're a part of the problem. Quit being a part of the fucking problem and put the other guy back on! *'Hans Gruber: Hit it again. *'John McClane': Hans! You motherfucker, you made your point. Now let them pull back! *'Hans Gruber': Thank you, Mr. Cowboy. I'll take that under advisement. Hit it again. *'John McClane' (after looking down an elevator shaft): Fuck me. *'John McClane '(just before he blows up James and Alexander with the C4): Geronimo, motherfucker! *'John McClane': I'm on your side assholes! *'John McClane': Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker! *'John McClane': Happy trails, Hans! Die Hard 2 *'John McClane': (To Captain Lorenzo) Hey Carmine, let me ask you something: what sets off a metal detector first? The lead in your ass or the shit in your brains? *'John McClane': Oh man, I can't fucking believe this. Another basement, another elevator. How can the same shit happen to the same guy twice? *'John McClane': Just once, I'd like a regular, normal Christmas. Eggnog, a fuckin' Christmas tree, a little turkey. But, no! I gotta crawl around in this motherfuckin' tin can! *'John McClane': Dammit, I hate it when I'm right. *'Major Grant': You're the wrong guy in the wrong place at the wrong time. *'John McClane': Story of my life. * Chopper Pilot: (McClane is showing his nervousness while riding in a helicopter) What's the matter, cowboy? Ride too rough? * John McClane: I don't like to fly. * Samantha Coleman: Then what are you doing here? * John McClane: I don't like to lose either. *'Carmine Lorenzo': McClane, say hi to my brother, Vito. *'Vito Lorenzo': Merry Christmas. *'John McClane': (Unhappily recognizes him) Hi. Die Hard with a Vengeance *Zeus Carver: Are you aiming for these people? *John McClane: No, well maybe that mime! * *'John McClane': I'll tell you what your problem is, you don't like me 'cause you're a racist! *'Zeus Carver': What? *'John McClane': You're a racist! You don't like me 'cause I'm white! *'Zeus Carver': I don't like you because you're gonna get me *killed*! *'John McClane': 'Cuz I know the man, I know the family. The only thing better than blowing up $100 billion dollars worth of gold is making people think you did. *'John McClane': Hey fuckhead. Yeah, you, fuckhead. There's just one thing I gotta know. You got any aspirins? 'Cause I've had a bad fucking headache all day long. *'Targo's henchman: '''Nicht schießen! (Translation: Don't shoot!) * (''McClane shoots the henchman dead) *'John McClane: '''What was that? *(''Targo kicks McClane from above the container) *'Mathias Targo': He said "Don't shoot.". Live Free or Die Hard *'John McClane': Do you know what you get for being a hero? Nothin'. You get shot at. Pat on the back, blah blah blah. 'Attaboy.' You get divorced... Your wife can't remember your last name, kids don't want to talk to you... You get to eat a lot of meals by yourself. Trust me kid, nobody wants to be that guy. (I do this) because there is nobody else to do it right now. Believe me if there was somebody else to do it, I would let them do it. There's not, so (I'm) doing it. That's what makes you that guy." *'John McClane': (To Mai Linh) Fuck you, bitch! *'John McClane': Damn hamster! *'John McClane': Stay still, spider-boy! *'John McClane': (From the unrated version) I'm gonna kill this motherfucker and get my daughter back, or get my daughter and kill this motherfucker. *'John McClane': That's gonna wake the neighbors. *'John McClane': Just another day in paradise. *'John McClane': (As Rand was top of the gate that was being dragged by McClane's car) Jesus, Is the circus in town? *'Matt Farrell': (After McClane rams the gate and Rand off of McClane's car) Do you see that? *'John McClane': Yeah, I saw it. I did it. *'John McClane': All right, that's enough of this kung-fu shit! *'John McClane': (mocking his boss) "Can't be a uniform John!" (to bystander) Get over to a wall sir!, (continues mocking) "Feds called in a favor! All you got to do is go pick up a kid (groans) in Jersey and drive him down to D.C." How hard can that be, Huh? Can't be that hard, No, can it? No, gotta be a senior detective! *'John McClane': (Driving the car towards the terrorist helicopter) Thing like a traffic jam, throwing a car at me's gonna stop me? *'Thomas Gabriel': Detective, covering the camera with your hand does not turn off the microphone. *'John McClane': I know I'm not as smart as you guys at all this computer shit. But, hey... I'm still alive, ain't I? I mean, you've GOT to be running out of bad guys by now, right? Huh? Gabriel? Honestly, you can tell me. I mean, how does that work? Got some kind of service or something? Some kind of 800 number? 1-800-HENCHMEN? Oh, you know what? I bet you're still on hold with, "Can I get another dead Asian hooker bitch over here right away?" *'Thomas Gabriel': On your tombstone, it should read "Always at the wrong place, at the wrong time." *'John McClane': How about Yippee Ki-Yay, Motherfucker! (shoots himself through the shoulder and kills Gabriel) *'John McClane': (Climbing the SUV) Let's just talk about this for one second (Mai punches him) *'John McClane': (choking Mai with chains) There, that's not too tight is it? *'John McClane': Command center? (laughs) It's a basement! A Good Day to Die Hard *'John McClane': (after he knocks the Russian driver yelling at him) Do you think I understand a word you're saying?! *'John McClane': The 007 of Plainfield, New Jersey. *'John McClane': Need a hug? *'Jack McClane': We're not a hugging family. *'John McClane': Damn straight! *'John McClane': Me and my boy here, we're gonna put a whuppin' on ya! *'Jack McClane:' Certain death. *'John McClane:' Like your mother's cooking *(during the shoot out) John McClane: You remember the last time we talked just before you went away? *'Jack McClane': Ah no! No, no, no! You're not gonna open up to me before we die! That's not your thing, John! *'John McClane': What's my thing? *'Jack McClane': Killing bad guys! That's your thing! *(preparing to return fire) John McClane: You're not gonna die today! *'John McClane': The shit we do for our kids. Yipee Ki-Yay, motherfucker. 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